LATE FALL, 1996
Tonight I got arrested. I hate saying that, but it happens.
I had a 40 ounce beer in my hand and one in my book bag
and I smelled like it. I was walking with my two friends, when
this cop pulls up and goes, “Is something wrong?”
We all said nothing was wrong, but then the cop pointed to
me and said, “Why does she look so sad?
I made up some bullshit about how my boyfriend and I just
broke up, but by then he had already seen the 40 ounce I was hiding in my coat.
They arrested me, but not my two friends, because they had no alcohol on them. My mom picked me up at the police station—and on the way back home we got into a fight over the time when I was twelve and she had pot in her car. A lot, too.
So I just got out of the car and tried to walk my drunken ass home, but it turns out I was walking in the wrong direction. I could’ve walked from Reading to Pottstown; that’s over twenty miles. Shit, I bet I would’ve kept walking, if I hadn’t seen this mall I knew, and was like, “Oh shit, what now?” I turned around and went to a store I saw closing up. It was after ten. Actually, I had been making pretty good time. I’m glad that I’m in fairly good shape right now, because I would never have made it if I was sick.
So I had time to think things through.
When I got back to Reading, I let this cop car see me, because it was past curfew and I wanted a ride home. Also, I had a feeling I wouldn’t get fined; I figured there was no way, after all this shit—that anything else that fucked up could happen to me.
The cop came into my house and talked with my mom and me. He said he wanted me to grow up to be happy and healthy, and that he wanted me to introduce him to my kids some day, and that he wanted to see me live to grow old.
First off, I’ll never have kids.
And secondly, I’ll never get old.
It’s hard to grow old when you’re dead.
©2014 Dear Nobody: The True Diary of Mary Rose.
Published by Sourcebooks Fire. All Rights Reserved.